The Fear of Cheating is Worse than the Real Thing
There’s a very simple reason that we spend so much time thinking about, looking for, and holding onto a significant other — we need someone to choose us. That person who wants to be with us, instead of all the other options, gets our love, devotion, and trust, in return for offering the same. We bask in their attention, fill our hearts with their love and revel in their adoration.
Until the unthinkable happens, the unfathomable occurs — they choose someone else.
We can all get over a partner who’s ready to move on, or realizing that you’re just incompatible, it hurts, but it’s bearable. You know that there’s someone else out there for each of you and start the searching process again. What about when they cheat? They choose someone else while still choosing you.
Copying with Infidelity
That feeling, when you discover the cheating, is like a physical blow. The wind is knocked out of you and you’re flailing around on the floor trying to grab something to pull you to your feet. Dealing with infidelity is a minefield of possibly explosive choices. Should I leave? Of course, I should! But he’s sorry, he’s crying, he says he’ll never do it again. Should I stay? Maybe, one more chance…
